Day 1 PM

I have gambled much and lost much during the course of my life. The consequences of the choices I have made cost me more than I thought I could ever pay. I have taken a life started well, and financially I have driven it into a hole in the ground. I can’t answer the phone for fear of the creditor on the other end.

I feel like I lose two paces for every one that I gain. I have spent the last three days working on social networking so that I can earn enough money to move to a town where I don’t even have a job. How does that sound for wisdom?

The decisions of my past I take wholly and completely on my own shoulders. They were my bad choices, and I cannot regret them, because they brought me the most wonderful little girl I have ever wished for. Shortly after the sky fell, I found Christ. He had been there the whole time, but I had done everything on my own.

Since then, I have looked to His Word. I am committed to being obedient to His will above all things. I am doing what I believe is His will even if it sounds ridiculous and unfounded. Once a year my church holds a fast. They do it in fellowship as a symbol of obedience to Christ and His word. At the time of their fast I wasn’t in a position to participate.

Now, with so much change in my future looming in front of me, and so much uncertainty I need my savior more than anything. I am spending the next forty days in devotion to His will. I am studying His scripture and arming myself with the wisdom of His Word. When I go forth into the future I will be protected by the armor of God.

In the Bible it is written again and again how Jesus devoted himself in prayer to have time to spend with his father. It is also written that he started his ministry with a forty day fast. Jesus also spent a large portion of his life studying and teaching scripture. What better model for a servant than to follow their Lord.

The first day of the fast has come and gone. I stayed true to the rules of the fast. I have eaten the right foods. I have done a low-impact workout. I have spent time in prayer, and I have studied his word.

I have no fear of an uncertain future. The promises of the Bible are clear and easy to understand. Our Lord loves us and wants to provide the things that we need. I don’t need to see the entire path to take the first step. I will proceed in faith. Faith in the promises of the Bible. Faith in God’s love for me. Faith that all can be accomplished through Him that strengthens me.

Numbers 23:19 NIV
“God is not a man that he should lie, nor a son of man that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?”