Day 2 AM

Today is day 2 of my 40 days - 40 carbs - 40 prayers.

Weight: 170 pounds
BFI: 29.2%

Day 2 started really early. This morning I was awoken at 5 am by anxiety. I had been having a dream where I was fighting with someone. This dream got my brain thinking, and I was unable to shut it off. What this tells me is that I am not resting at peace in the arms of My Lord.

The hardest thing for me to do is to not think. The bible says do not worry. Yet, I worry. The bible says do not be anxious. Yet, I am anxious. It is against scripture to worry, and I then begin to worry that I am not being obedient to God, and it begins a cascade failure of stress.

After 30 minutes of tossing around worrying about everything from money to my relationship with God I get up. I surrender my mornings sleep, with the hope of having a nap later. I know what scripture says, so I immediately go to my Bible and look to His Word, and I am brought to Matthew 6:25-34.

Matthew 6 tells you not to worry, for your father loves you. Look at the birds, they do not worry, yet they always have food to eat. They never go without. Joyce Meyer says they also don't sit there feeling sorry for themselves. John McArthur says that you never see a lazy bird either. Then we look to the lilies of the field, how they clothe the grass which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace. Not even Solomon in his glory was clothed this grandly.

How much more will your Father give to you, his beloved child? When your child asks you for something are you not willing to give it? Are we more than our Father that we can provide for our children but he can't?

So I come to this scripture, and with it a sense of peace...

Matthew 6:31-34 NLT
So don't worry about these things, saying, "What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear? " These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today.

This means that whatever I accomplish today it is not nearly as important as my motive while accomplishing it. My motive from the moment my eyes open to the moment when sleep finds me is to be God. I need to look for God in all things that I do today. Today I need to find a way to bring glory to my Father. Today my focus needs to be greater than the things of this world, and I need to begin storing up my treasures in heaven.

I cannot say that I will not worry today. I cannot say that I will not fear for tomorrow. However, I can say that my focus today is learning more about my Father. My focus today is to do whatever I need to do righteously. If it is something small, then I will do that something small for my Father. If it is something grand then I will do that something grand for my Father.

Today I get out of bed, drop to my knees and praise God! Joy be upon me that I have the love and support of my creator. I may not stop my brain from thinking, but I will change the words that the devil would have me hear to the words my Lord gave me. Through thinking on his word I find wisdom and I find righteousness. Praise to God!

Today I will meditate on this scripture...
Philippians 4:6-9
Romans 10:9-10