Day 5 PM

Today is day 5 of my 40 days - 40 carbs - 40 prayers.

Weight: 166 pounds
BFI: 28.5%

Friday night I periodically attend Celebrate Recovery a scripture based program to deal with the hurts, hang-ups and habits of your life. It is based on the 8 Beatitudes found in the gospel of Matthew. However, I don't need to go every week because I don't have any serious problems right? Nothing I can't handle, right? Wrong.

There I heard a woman give a stunning testimony, that had a great impact on me. It was if someone had held up a mirror in front of me and all my sin was laid about before me. This woman was giving a public testimony of the things that had kept her from Christ, and I had all of those.

I realized tonight that I had forgotten that a fast is a show of obedience to Christ, and that I am to humble myself before him. I haven't been humble. I believed myself to be in control. I believed that I could do this, and I would only turn to God in my need. The truth is that all people are in need of God at all times.

Tonight, privately, I will be taking an inventory of my sin, and I will repent before God. I am a sinner. I sometimes forget that part when I praise my savior. I sometimes get stuck on the promises to the righteous. I forget that it is by His grace that I am among the righteous and not that I am truly a righteous person. The promises in the Bible are for me. Christ died for me, but not because I am righteous. I am a sinner, washed clean in the blood of Christ.

So if you should participate in a fast, remember that you are to be humble before God. Take an inventory of your life, find your sins. Not just the obvious ones, all of them. Lay them down before the cross and repent. Kneel before you king and ask forgiveness. That is humility. Not Bible study or fasting. That is just a show of obedience. Give your king your true humility.

Allow yourself to be taken down and rebuilt as a grateful believer in Jesus Christ. Heck...we got 35 more days to recover from the deconstruction of previously held beliefs. Surrender your will, your lifestyle, and become someone new in Christ. He died for us, and that is Amazing Grace.

-Meredith