Day 17 AM

Today is day 17 of my 40 days - 40 carbs - 40 prayers.

Weight: 158 pounds
BFI: 27.1%

We are almost halfway through the fast. The weight is coming off great. The menu has gotten a bit boring, but it doesn't really matter, because I am doing this as a testimony of love and obedience.

I have had three good days of peace. Three days of no anxiety. Ever since I had the sermon on God's power and strength. Since I put the time in to study the Word of God on fear and anxiety. I downloaded two different sermon series on anxiety, one by Joyce Meyers and one by John MacArthur. I think that I may have finally surrendered to God for the first time this problem.

Honestly, I have been changing my mind on my move to California every 20 minutes, and it had created so much stress. I knew when the decision was made that it was God's will. Since that time I began to wonder if it was or wasn't. So I panicked, like I was drowning. When I should have had faith in God, I didn't. I started fearing the shadows, and focusing on what could go wrong. I wasn't trusting in the power of my God.

I always hear people say, lay it at the foot of the cross. So I do. I lay my problems at the foot of the cross. I have a picture of Jesus hanging over my bed. To the back of his picture I taped an envelope, and when things get tough I write the problem down and put it in the envelope. It's supposed to be symbolic of relinquishing a problem to Christ. However, I know that as soon as I lay something at his feet, I wait a moment and pick it back up again.

It's ridiculous really. What do I think that I can do that he can't? He is the creator of the heaven and the earth. Nothing is beyond his power. Nothing! If you can't trust God, then who can you trust? So, today we work on letting go, and letting God. That's another saying I hear a lot. So today this is my prayer.

Praise Jesus! Thank you, Lord, for the way that you are working in my life. I may not see the things that you have done for me, but I know that you have not abandoned me. Thank you for blessing me each and every day. I trust you to do what needs to be done for me. I may not like the way that you do it, but I trust you. You are my Lord, my savior, and everything that I need. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.